As the day draws nearer and nearer, I am increasingly getting asked several questions and comments that I find to be slightly ridiculous. Here they are, in no particular order.
No offense if you have asked or made one or more of these questions or comments. I get it. I'm sure I've asked other pregnant women the same things. I don't mind answering the questions, but they ARE kind of silly once you stop and think about them.
Q.) Are you getting excited?
A.) Eh, not really. I mean, it's not like I'm winning the lottery or anything. Just producing a person that will keep me awake and covered in bodily fluids for several weeks. What's so exciting about that?
Q.) Are you getting nervous/scared?
A.) Well I wasn't until you just mentioned it, thanks. Now all I can think about is how much pain I'm about to be in, and it's all YOUR fault!
Q.) You're due so soon!
A.) Really? I hadn't looked at a calendar in like 6 months. I had no idea!
Q.) You are so small for being due so soon!
A.) Thanks! I think? Or are you trying to tell me that I am starving my baby? I don't really have control over my size at the moment...but yeah, I'll take all the credit/blame.
Q.) Are you ready???
A.) Ready for going into labor? Ready to give birth? Ready to be responsible for a person? Ready for some football? Is it possible to really be ready for any of this?
Q.) Are your parents excited?
A.) Nope, not at all. They can't believe we'd be selfish enough to bring another person into the world who will demand their love and affection. We are such bastards!
Q.) I bet you want him out already!
A.) I mean, why rush? Carrying around 7 pounds of person is so much fun! I'll miss the days of getting a rolling start out of bed, not being able to reach my toes, and peeing every 5 minutes. Plus, it's not like I want to see what he looks like or anything.
Q.) I bet Will's excited!
A.) Actually, I haven't told him yet. He just thinks I need to lay off the burritos.