Wednesday, April 6, 2011

No Girls Allowed

I used to think I wanted a little girl. Then Justin Bieber happened.

No seriously. I would like to wholeheartedly apologize to my mother for all of the New Kids on the Block she had to stomach. Did I mention I had a poster that went from floor to ceiling?

I'm quite sure that Holden will develop hobbies/interests that may annoy me at some point in his life. However, I would rather listen to screamy,-power chord-ridden metal than whiny, I'm-cool-because-my-hair-looks-like-I'm-constantly-in-a-sideways-wind-tunnel teeny bopper music.

Here are some more reasons why I am happy to have a little boy. And to those of you who have girls, my deepest sympathies. Send me your address, and I'll send you some earplugs.

*Disclaimer...this list is sure to be full of harsh generalizations. Also, this all goes out the window if my son turns out to be gay. But, at least then I'll have someone to shop with!

10. Someone to dress. Ok, so this probably won't last forever, but chances are I will be able to pick out Holden's clothes far longer than a little girl would let me. Also, Will never lets me dress him in sweater vests, so somebody has to (although, the cats do look good in plaid).

9. We don't have to foot the majority of the bill for the wedding. I think this one needs no further explanation.

8. I don't have to teach Will how to french braid.

7. If my son ever tries out for American Idol, he won't be an annoying Celine Dionesque ballad singer. There's really not much worse than that.

6. Will has future help with yard work. We'll use the bubble mower to convince Holden that mowing the lawn is super fun. Mwahahaha!

5. Boys take fast showers. Our hot water tank is 28 years old. I don't think it could handle another chick in the house.

4. It's just not the same when a little girl grabs a handful of acorns and says, "I'm just looking at my nuts!" (thanks to Zachary Gantner for that quote).

3. No one in my house has pink as a favorite color.

2. I don't have to worry about Will murdering potential boyfriends and burying them in the yard. You know, because he'd throw his back out from all the digging and then I'd have to take care of him.

and the number one reason I'm happy I have a little boy is...

1. With boys, we only have to worry about ONE *insert favorite nickname for male anatomy*. With girls, we'd have to worry about ALL of the *insert favorite nickname for male anatomy* in the world.


  1. OMG, this cracked me up!! Priceless and true. But if you do have a girl, I will support her love for pink and Teeny Bop music. We can crush over bruno mars together...or then at that point whoever seems to be the "Cool one!"

  2. This was the most awesometastic blog post I've read all year.

  3. Why thank you, "The Author." Also, do I know you in real life? Do you have a human name?

  4. *laughs* I can only imagine how this household is going to evolve... It's sure to be an adventure!!! Not to worry, no matter how weird your child seems at any given point, the love will outlast the strange. :D

  5. A Pittsburgh friend sent the link to this post to me, and I laughed out loud (at school, in study hall). I'm mom to a girl (2 1/2) and a boy (1 year); can't wait to read more here! Thanks for this.

  6. Thanks a lot for your information. It gives more information and its very useful for me.Holden